Thursday, April 28

The S&M Man

I realize at the head of this blog it states “the perfect mix of intelligence and belligerence,” but the majority has been more akin to belligerence. That is due to the taxing of my intellectual abilities ells were, and so you wind up with the belligerence. Just an explanation, on with the belligerence…

Here’s a second truck song for all you fans out there. This is to the tune of “The Candy Man” by Sammy Davis Jr. (Who can take a rainbow Sprinkle something something…) Now remember this is done as a group, one guy leads and everyone repeats. When the lead says the funny line everyone stops repeating, instead they sing:
The S&M man The S&M man The S&M man ‘cause he fills the pain with love and makes the hurt feel good, makes the hurt feel good.

Example, followed by song:

Lead: Who can take a tricycle
Everyone: Who can take a tricycle

Lead: Rip off the seat
Everyone: Rip off the seat

Lead: Put your sister on it push her down a bumpy street

Everyone: The S&M man The S&M man The S&M man ‘cause he fills the pain with love and makes the hurt feel good, makes the hurt feel good.

Who can take some first graders

12 stories high

Pump ‘em full of acid and convince them they can fly

The S&M man The S&M man The S&M man ‘cause he fills the pain with love and makes the hurt feel good, makes the hurt feel good.

Who can take a baby

Lay it on its back

Fuck it up the ass until you here its pelvis crack

The S&M man The S&M man The S&M man ‘cause he fills the pain with love and makes the hurt feel good, makes the hurt feel good.

Who can take two ice picks

Stick ‘em in her ears

Fuck her from behind as he’s shiftin’ through the gears



Who can take your grandma

Out in the front lawn

Fuck her wrinkled twat as your grandpa cheers him on


Who can take a baby

Lay it on the bed

Grab it by the ears and fuck the soft spot in its head


Who can take your grandpa

Tie him to a chair

Then fuck him in the ass until he has no anal hair


Who can take two cheese graders

Strap’em to his arms

Push them in and out and make some pussy parmesan


Who can take a nazi

Bend him over a pew

Fuck him in the ass until he converts into a Jew


You can switch leads often when everyone knows several verses, this keeps momentum when your struggling to remember a verse, as such they can be sung in any order. This is by no means an all-inclusive list.

25 Comments:

At 9:17 AM, Blogger zealott said...

I could see myself running about 12 miles to this one. We'd probably have to be about 12 miles from cantonement to get away with it. Funny, I bought a cadence book at the PX, that one wasn't in there.

 
At 1:30 PM, Blogger grey said...

Long posts make my eyes bleed.

 
At 12:35 PM, Blogger Pabstman said...

Maddog, How in the hell do you come up with things like this. You should start to write songs or something.

 
At 1:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is DISGUSTING! How could you post something like this.. and you have kids, disgusting.

 
At 9:38 PM, Blogger Maddog said...

Yes it is disgusting, and yes I have kids. If you care to discus rational behind why we would sing such songs, try not posting anonymously shit head.

I didn’t write this is a song, although I did tweak some parts and I did write some of chink cha chink cha chink (see the zeke or cowboys blog). We would sing these in the five tons on our way out of the field in Ranger Battalion

 
At 9:40 PM, Blogger Maddog said...

Yes it is disgusting, and yes I have kids. If you care to discus rational behind why we would sing such songs, try not posting anonymously shit head.

I didn’t write this song, although I did tweak some parts and I did write some of chink cha chink cha chink (see the zeke or cowboys blog). We would sing these in the five tons on our way out of the field in Ranger Battalion.

 
At 10:25 PM, Blogger Cowboy said...

Anonymous...your a pussy. You posted on a soldiers blog, may I say anymore.
And we write what we think, if you dont like it "go sit on a trycicle and go down a bumpy street"
The S&M man the s&m man...

 
At 7:55 AM, Blogger zealott said...

Grey: If you don't like reading a monitor screen, try this, Sayzme.
It was hilarious, the reaction from my wife, when I played this post outloud using a "retarded female robot sounding" voice.

 
At 9:56 PM, Blogger Maddog said...

I should note that I would encourage debate against the views expressed on this blog, even those by anonymous. However, belligerent comments will be dealt with belligerently. If you try and attack what I say without offering justification for your own beliefs, fuck you. You have full right and permission to act that way, just realize nothing will come of such action (accept of course a response as equally point less).

If you intelligently disagree with what I have put forth and have concerns, can offer dialog exposing weakness with, or have suggestions regarding my posts, I will give you respectful answers. I don’t pretend to know everything; in fact I find the opposite to be closer to the truth. Of course I think this applies to you as well, but that doesn’t mean we cannot discus things rationally.

 
At 12:27 PM, Anonymous Rev. Sardonicus said...

It's interesting that the anonymous poster thought your obviously-satyrical "S&M Man" song is so terrible, but didn't comment on the previous "Who is Dirty Sanchez?" post that reads like an instruction manual for sexual atrocity.

This is particularly interesting also because he/she would have to look back past the Sanchez post to your Collin Peterson letter to learn that you have children, which he/she mentions in the post. Unless this person knows you outside the blog .....

Mad Dog, you needn't deprecate your intellect by stating that you don't know everything. Socrates was considered very wise because he knew that there were things he didn't know. This made him so dangerous to the Athenian government that they killed him.

 
At 4:47 PM, Blogger Pabstman said...

Great points, that was well said, and was not hostile sounding.

 
At 9:19 AM, Anonymous Johnny Rooke said...

The tradition of the cadence, the S&M man and others, has many deliberate purposes:
-to build unit cohesion
-develope the warrior spirit
-motivation
-esprit de corps
At its lowest level cadence helps keep step and move large formations of troops. Above that it is intended for the troops and not the general public. Sometimes they have to be nasty and sick and evil. Because this is the business we are in. If today in Iraq a troop is better able to handel a stressful situation because he was mentally hardened, if even the slightest bit, by an untastefull cadence... then it is all worth while.

anonymous- you are a fucking tinker bell

 
At 9:44 AM, Blogger grey said...

Anonymous? You fucked him! oooooh!

But seriously, open your freaking eyes.

 
At 12:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

maaaaadd0000g, its cook!
HOW I LIKE THOSE LITTLE GIRLS, SOME WITH STRAIGHT HAIR, SOME WITH CURLS...

 
At 1:29 PM, Anonymous Rev. Sardonicus said...

In the words of Rush Limbaugh:

"The purpose of the Army is to kill people and break stuff"

If cadences like this help you Servicemen do your job better, I have absolutely no problem with it.

Mr. Rooke knows what he's talking about.

 
At 1:40 PM, Blogger blog-surfer said...

Is a bit harsh, but I guess whatever works for you.

 
At 7:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, thanks for doing your time. This song is great, many laughs, and a free ticket from the bus smokin's. 1stRgrBat.

 
At 9:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

NSU - 4efer, 5210 - rulez

 
At 1:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Photo from my Best weekend in this year ! ! ! ( phentermine )
Look it here :

I and my Girl or My friends girl

 
At 5:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

who can go to an abortion clinic...sneak around the back ...climb into the dumpster and find a tasty snack.....


we sing S&M man @ our rugby socials.....i think i prolly know over 100 verses...great song though

 
At 10:46 PM, Anonymous EvilCouch said...

It figures that the only Google search result for "who can take your grandpa" is another Batt Boy. Ha!

 
At 7:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who can take that very same abortion clinic?
Fuck going around the back!
Sneak into to the back room and grab one off the rack!

Who can again take the same abortion clinic?
Fuck sneaking in the back!
Go into the operating room and suck one out her snatch!

 
At 8:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who can take your parents,
To a porno flick?
Fuck mommy in the ass
While she's suckin daddy's dick?

Who can take a teenager,
Douse her down with gas?
Light her on fire
While you fuck her in the ass?

Who can go to an abortion clinic,
Fuck sneaking around the back!
Spread her fucking legs
And yank it out her crack!

Who can take your grandfather,
Shove a bottle in his ass?
Kick him down the street
Till he is shitting broken glass!

B CO 3PLT 3rd SQD 1998-2001

 
At 8:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who can take your parents,
To a porno flick?
Fuck mommy in the ass
While she's suckin daddy's dick?

Who can take a teenager,
Douse her down with gas?
Light her on fire
While you fuck her in the ass?

Who can go to an abortion clinic,
Fuck sneaking around the back!
Spread her fucking legs
And yank it out her crack!

Who can take your grandfather,
Shove a bottle in his ass?
Kick him down the street
Till he is shitting broken glass!

B CO 3PLT 3rd SQD 1/75 1998-2001

 
At 8:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

who can take a chainsaw
shove it up her hole
rev it up real good and make a tuna casserole

who can take a light bulb
shove it up her ass
punch her in the stomach til it shatters all the glass

... those are all I could remember from our cadences.

 

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