Wednesday, March 9

Who is Maddog?

For those of you who don't know me, I am two people. One of which is quite and reserved, goes to college (and dose quite well, regardless of his inability to spell), works part time, and is the loving father of two beautiful girls.

The other guy is, well - the Maddog.

I am awakened from somewhere deep within, so deep in fact you WILL be surprised when I emerge if you are used to my other self. I am usually summoned through the consumption of vast quantities of alcohol at the bar. It is not uncommon for those around me to grab hold of giant invisible bolt cutters and remove my shackles, or swing open an imaginary cell door calling "Here Maddog, come on out," while out stretching a drink for me to grab.

It is said that you can tell when I begin to surface by the taping of my feet or the rocking of my head. This activity is most always accompanied by shouts of "Ohh, he's comen' out, the dogs about to [get] let loose." After this has transpired it is almost standard for some of those around to mimic shining my shoes, the last ritual necessary to ensure my forth coming.

"Oooowwww. . ." someone calls as I leap through the air on my way to the dance floor. It is there, I am told, that I suffer from violent convolutions that somehow arrange themselves in a fluid manner not unsimilar to dancing. It is from then on that I suffer from an unquenchable lust for alcohol, held at bay only by call of the dance floor. When I am in full control it is much more difficult to put shackles back on or close the cell. You are probably stuck with me until the dawn.


At 6:42 AM, Blogger grey said...

That sounds like the Maddog, except you forgot the part where you try to slap the piss out of everyone in an attempt to get someone to hit you.

There's nothing like suppressive fucking rage!

At 9:32 AM, Blogger Amerikan Alien said...

Hi there Maddog,

Split personality is it....I have one of those but only in my evil twin. :P She dreams about some of the things she might like to do, but at this is not exceptable by any one around her.

Thought would be, fake amnesia run a muck...and then come back to my senses when I'm done living out my fantasies. lol

Have a great day....Angel

At 10:19 AM, Blogger Zeke said...

For I am all that is man.

I can't believe it, how can this be!? How could maddog or grey have forgotten ROBINS HAIR!!! That is his alter-ego. Robins hair is a part of maddog. When Robins facial hair overpowers every other bodily function. Thats when things reeeally start to get CRAAAAAAAAAZZZY!!!

At 6:17 PM, Blogger Maddog said...

No I didn’t forget about the slapping or Robin’s hair. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to bring up the slapping, because then I have to bring up the pissing, the binding, the hot tubing, those whores from Thailand, those whores from Korea, the car in the lake, etc. . .

And Robin’s hair is, at this time, merely an unsubstantiated theory. The Maddog remains even when all hair is removed for drill. This theory could, however, be implemented as a possible method to identify other hosts of a Maddog-like essence. I do know another individual who suffers form rapid facial hair growth who has been overtaken by an entity named Thor after going through a process similar to the awakening of the Maddog.

As far as amerikan alien is concerned, we would have to devise a more gender-neutral theory, by the way, thanx for posting.

At 12:30 PM, Blogger Maddog said...

There are four comments on here, well five including this one, but the comment counter only reports 3. This is a test to see if it will continue to stall or start counting again. Also if anyone knows why it’s acting this way feel free to inform me.

At 8:33 AM, Blogger grey said...

Blogger is buggy. Don't worry about it.

At 4:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dogs got his DANCIN shoes on!!!


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